Let’s put an end to this, shall we? Here are some negotiation tactics that the government should look into as a means of getting those crazy kids back in school.
Prohibit the sale of alcohol across the entire province. We are not suggesting that alcohol is the cause of any of these riotous behaviours; quite the contrary, in fact. But by denying us all the privilege of drinking, only those with jobs will be able to afford to buy contraband. We certainly have enough booze in our cabinet to last 6 months. We defy you to show us a student who has more than 6-hours worth of sauce in reserve.
Odds of resolution: marginal. Weed is a decent substitute. To wit…
7. Increase the price of weed
All it takes is one clandestine meeting with the Hell’s Angels to establish a substantial hike in the price per gram. As such, what student can last a day without getting high? And what student could afford paying $500 for a gram of weed and a single Labatt 50?
Odds of resolution: reasonable. Without booze and weed, no students in Quebec would be getting laid.