The Complexities of Female Relationships

Men are seemingly always wondering how women do it. And they are not referring to a gal’s ability to get any man to bed her or how she can balance herself on a set of stilettos after a dozen gin and tonics.

But rather men often wonder how they are able to manage the complexities of female relationships.

Lets’s be frank and agree that the fairer sex has been known (on occasion) to be moody, high maintenance and, at times (if you throw in some estrogen for good measure), a little bat shit crazy.

A young lass’s journey to define herself as an adult in a perceived man’s world can be tough. Translating studies into a career path, managing over-protective parents all the while trying to snatch a solid guy is a little like wrestling a baby hippo into your favourite Louis Vuitton handbag.

A modern woman will have many weapons at her disposal. But even her highest Jimmy Choo’s pale in comparison to the assembled might of her most loyal friends.

We learn early on that, like anything worthwhile, with great effort comes great reward. Investing in your blue chip friends can bring you a huge payout. Female camaraderie can provide comfort, support and, with Mr Chardonnay’s gifted assistance, even the most earth shattering catastrophes caused by a member of the simpler sex can be weathered.

Dude relationships with their bros involve mostly – but are not limited to – knowing what car the other drives, who their favorite sports teams are and what cup size their girlfriends have. I’m sure we have all envied how simple men really are.

With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at the different kinds of women out there that can make female relationships so, shall we say, interesting. And, let’s face it, we have all been friends with each one of these ladies:

The Guys’ Girl – Type A; can also be known as the Tomboy

She is young and lacks some serious fashion sense for sexy shoes and cleavage enhancing shirts. This is the girl who goes to Super Bowl and Stanley Cup beer-fueled parties. She has her favorite sports picks. She is either a wannabe slut or an asexual virgin. She is often homely (but not always) and most likely has a serious crush on the leader of the boy gang who has no clue that she even has a vagina.

The Guys’ Girl Type B; can also be known as an honorary “bro”

This girl is an experienced (and not homely version) of boys girl type A who gets promoted if she can keep her cool and not want to talk too much about her feelings. She possesses a quick wit, she is easy reference on multiple subjects (sports, politics, cars, boobs) and, if she keeps her standing for long enough in her “guy group”, she may even become privy to certain tenants of the bro code.

She gets invited to bachelor parties if she is having a good year.

The Boy-Crazy Girl

This is the girl that starts off as your regular run of the mill girl and then meets a boy and ditches her friends for said boy. Her personality is sucked into a spiraling vortex and she morphs into a stepford girlfriend. Concessions can be made and every girl is allotted a one-time get out of jail free card.

The Guilt Giver

She is usually mad at you for something you did or didn’t do for/to her. She makes you cry often in sheer frustration and tends to be young and inexperienced with other gals. She could be written off but her saving grace is you actually find her hilarious when she is not being melodramatic.

The Boil Your Bunny Girl

Echo the sentiment single white female. She’s creepy and mysterious (although not like Batman) and you should use your female Spidey Sense to see that psycho coming from a mile away. Disclaimer; she may or may not put dog shit under your car door handles if you break up with her.

The Party Girl

She has a penchant for the drink, refuses to bring religion into her life no matter how often she prays to the porcelain gods. She knows all the right people and is on every guest list in town. She lives on her own terms and you live vicariously through her amazing determination and lust for life. Disclaimer: there is an abundance of barfing, punching and slurring.

The Backstabbing Biatch

Under the right (or wrong) circumstances, she epitomizes all of the most exaggerated traits of all the above-mentioned girls. She bitch talks you because she was needy and you ignored her, you ditched her for a boy so she decided to sleep with him for revenge. She is a loose cannon and has the Regina George-like single-minded determination to destroy your social cred.

The Girls’ Girl

Even with the best of intentions and a big thanks to birth control pill hormones we have all behaved less than lady like at some juncture in our girl careers. There is one girl that stands above all chicks to bring peace and harmony to the female fold.

She has one or many best or closest girlfriends and can juggle multiple girlfriends successfully. She lends a sympathetic ear, can easily navigate multiple personality types, can balance various hormonal period cycles and can also BRING it in every party scenario. Even the male fantasy of the princess slave Leah, naked pillow fight slumber variety.

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