Ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For some reason, when men and women get together, men insist on doing things wrong.
Guys, I’m talking about those moments when you get caught by your girlfriend doing something stupid, and she starts asking you how you could ever possibly be such an insensitive jerk. Of course, no one ever wants to own up to being a jerk, so out come the excuses.
If you’re a guy, you’ve probably used them all. If you’re a girl, you’ve probably rolled your eyes at all of them. Here are 8 of some of the most annoying excuses men have ever attempted to use to get them out of trouble.
8. I don’t know
Since this is not even a real excuse, you wouldn’t think I’d even have to mention it. The guy is asked, “why did you do that?” and all he can say is that he doesn’t know. It doesn’t work, and it doesn’t make things better. It works against you by making you look like you’re even more stupid because you don’t even know why you did something. Only you would know.
7. I’m biologically made that way
Lately, I’ve started to hear this more and more. When a guy is confronted about his obsession with big boobs or big hips, and all he can do is dish out some gibberish he heard on Oprah while “flicking through the channels.” If you’re going to use this excuse, you have to realize that you are biologically attracted to that figure because it means she can biologically bare children. So, you best be wanting to knock me up if you’re coming at me with that crap.
6. I was just looking
This is great. Men always get caught looking at other chicks, or even porn. Now, it’s only normal to look from time to time, but if you have yourself a girlfriend, you may want to try looking at her more. Which is exactly why she’ll get mad at you, and you’ll explain you were just looking. I’m aware you were just looking, because if you were doing anything more than that, well…
By the way, guys, looking at chicks you can’t touch is like looking at cars you can’t drive. Aren’t you really torturing yourself here?
5. It’s only natural
Different from number 7, guys try to use this excuse when they’re confronted about their number of past sexual partners, or when they’re trying to talk their girl into a threesome. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize being a sleaze was a natural occurrence for the developed human mind. Oh that’s right, it’s not. Keep it in the present, or keep it in your pants.