There are two types of car owners.
Type A: The person who is proud of the power-plant concealed under the hood of his motor vehicle – original wheels and an unused ashtray. Clean in-and-out. It’s not fancy. It just looks and runs nice.
Type B: The person who thinks racing decals make a car go faster.
If you are Type A, you can move on to the next Top 8 article.
If you are Type B, please read on.
8. Rear View Mirror Objects
Unless it’s a hi-tech night-vision HD camera, remove it from your rear view mirror. Nothing should hang there, not even the crappy sacrificed CD you thought was special enough to extract from your “scratched-and-will-never-use-it-again” collection. Baby shoes suck, especially if you don’t have kids or have any kind of fetish or conviction.
7. Antiquated Junk
When you look around the inside of your car, is there anything that doesn’t belong in the 21st century and is not an antique ?
If you have a compass suction-cupped to the dash of your car, you may need psychiatric treatment. Let’s say your 1982 Corolla rolls over and flips into the bush on the side of the road and rolls down a 200 foot cliff. Imagine this – you survive! And thanks to this marvelous technology, YOU will know where you are within a 20,000 square mile grid. This will certainly come in handy.
(This category also applies to the thermometer you stick on the dash. Who really cares what the temperature is inside the car? If it feels hot, it probably is…)
$3000 rims on a $500 car. Invest the money in some rust repair and engine maintenance. Sure, they look great, especially when you’re stalled in the fast lane because you didn’t use the money to maintain the power plant of your “sweet” ride..
5. Loud exhaust
Attention wannabe race car drivers: there is a difference between a performance exhaust and a crappy muffler. A rusty muffler is NOT a tuned exhaust system. If you think your car is a “head-turner”, you’re probably correct. People are looking at your car, wondering why a rust-heap with a disastrous exhaust system has 3000 dollar rims. If your car emits 135 decibels of noise or more, and you haven’t been to a performance shop in recent history, you have a problem.
Suggestion for a bumper sticker for this car:
“Expensive Rims for Sale – contact the idiot in the driver’s seat”