A small percentage of the female population has a unique gift that cannot be taught, cannot be learned and most certainly cannot be faked. Most likely, it comes from having been consistently surrounded by boys from an early age. The absence of women surely helps.
This gift is the ability to understand men.
Not to emulate them or sympathise with them but to truly get where they are coming from and act accordingly. These women don’t question men’s actions; they know when to push a man and when to let him be; they can simplify their responses to men.
In the end, if you’re graced with this ability, you will come to accept what he has been telling you all along: that men are quite simple.
The problem with understanding men in any relationship lies with women who overly complicate things as said women are overly complicated themselves. Come on, admit it: we analyze and parse every sentence to find a deeper meaning. To help my fellow women out there, here are some rules that can help you better understand your simpleton:
- Very few men play games once they are involved in a relationship. I’m not saying they don’t behave strangely when dating or courting but when they go all-in, the best thing for you to do is to stop overthinking. Men don’t think. We spend hours analyzing and replaying situations. They don’t. They’re not busy plotting or pondering their next move. They’re dreaming about a no-hitter in tonight’s game; or if you’ll be okay with them going out with the boys tomorrow night; or if they can sleep in after staying up all night playing god-knows-what game. They don’t really worry needlessly about their relationships.
- Men have feelings – lots of feelings – but they’ll be damned if they want to talk about them when being pressured to do so. If your man is in a bad mood, grumpy, cranky and you’re not sure why, stop thinking it has anything to do with you until you know for sure and just let him be for a while. He’ll either come around (maybe he was just hungry or tired or horny) or he might decide to share how he’s feeling (which, of course, is a bonus). Let him be!
- Space. This is a tough one for most women, especially if you’re raising a family. Resentment can build as all women would love to have the luxury of doing the same. But, men really do need their space. Few men are built to be around people and the hectic pace of family life 24/7. They need to escape to their laptops, TV’s, bathrooms (this can be a sacred place for a man) and porn. Yes, porn. So when you feel frustrated because you’re doing everything on your own, know that a little space can lead to a more positive and wilful participation in family responsibilities in the short run.
So when you find yourself getting frustrated with your man, stop and think (yes, that’s what women do best). Are you viewing the situation as you would yourself or as a man would? This just might change your perspective (and your relationship) over time. It’s certainly worth a try.